Thanks to materialsman

Another trip to Walking Street was in order as there were still several new places I failed to visit last time, so I made a good early start with a taxi direct to Walking Street rather than my usual 30 minute amble which I justify by calling it ‘keep fit’ although locals give me looks of sympathy, obviously the poor falang has no money for taxi, why else would he be crazy enough to walk? Truly, how often do you see Thais actually walk? I’ve seen girls get motorcycle taxis just to go across the street!

Actually this fantastic plan came somewhat unstuck, as I arrived at the end of Walking Street at 7 p.m. and nearly all of the places I had planned to visit were not even open! Consequently I spent some time just wandering up and down drinking in the sights (Eastern European hookers anyone?) and finally killed some time by eating a pizza in a little place near the top of Walking Street, up some narrow stairs, can’t remember the name but I think it stated proudly that it had branches in Berlin – Phuket – Pattaya? Good pizza in a traditional sense, if indeed a German firm can claim a ‘traditional’ pizza as their own, thin crust, no cheese or sausage crust (w.t.f. is that all about?) and along with a large bottle of Chang (70 baht) the bill was a very reasonable 235 baht.

I wanted to start my tour at Beavers, I have always has a lot of time for the respective clubs run by the two co-owners of this establishment, they seem to have decent business heads despite the daily intake of brain shriveling shooters, so I was looking forward to the visit, and frankly let’s face it, it’s the first club you come too! The place was heaving now at 8 p.m., an hour earlier I poked my head through the curtain and it was a ghost town, although it transpired that the majority all belonged to one ‘party’ and once they had left there was only a dozen or so hardened drinkers left, jealously clutching their ‘happy hour’ draft beers, personally I avoid the draft beers here so ordered my normal bottle of Heineken (95 baht) and settled in to take in the ambience. A little smaller than I expected and the décor was a little basic, although with the guys track records, I feel sure this will be addressed over time, nice uniforms on the girls, and although Beavers is essentially a table dancing club, and that’s not a style I particularly care for, it is not quite as, to coin a phrase ‘in your face’ as the Beach Club’. One thing I have to say about the up lighting on the tables, the girls with pretty faces and good figures (90% in truth, good totty quota) were enhanced by this feature, but the small percentage that were shall we say a little less beautiful and shapely, the lighting made them look like extras in a horror movie! All in all though a pretty decent place, which I am sure knowing the reputation of the co-owners can only get better, and a very decent place to kick off your Walking Street evening tour.
Toilet Tip: Never got to check as I had not yet ‘broken the seal’.

Next I was intending to check out the VIP, having completely and miserably failed to even locate it last time, but thanks to your splendid webmaster, this time I had the ‘knowledge, but it was still too damn early for it to be jumping so instead I trundled off to Covent Garden and my first visit to Babewatch. Nice layout, I particularly liked the concrete tree pillars holding up the ceiling, with the tree theme carried on through the stools. As stated by a previous reviewer, the stage seems set fairly high, not a problem for most of us, quite a few girls, some lookers, but aargh! there were also a few real ‘chunkies’ up there on stage. At this point I confess that my own personal ‘specification’ and let’s face it I am ‘materialsman’ so I am used to checking ‘specs’, is for the girl who is to be the object of my desires and hard earned cash to be at maximum 45 kilos, I have nothing against bigger girls, they always seem to get hit on just as frequently in the bars, and as a general rule, the Go-Go dancing girls tend to be a little taller than the dainty normal girls you see and dribble over on the Skytrain, it’s just not my thing! I would also concur that far and away the sexiest woman in the place is the Mamasan, perhaps no stranger to the dance floor in her earlier career, and when she hits the stage wow! Does she put the other dancers to shame! I would give the place a 7/10, I had to deduct a point for the ‘chunkies’ but there is definite potential there, the guy who I assumed was the owner seems to have great enthusiasm, and there was a younger English manager who made a point of doing his job correctly by ‘working the room’ and making sure everything was running smoothly, nice waitresses too!
Toilet Tip: I was kind of expecting the tree theme to be carried on to the toilets, and for sure there was a good amount of wood involved, good comfortable, tasteful facilities, but it’s kind of bizarre as due to the excellent sound system in the club, when you are in the toilet the vibration level is a little disturbing, like being trapped inside a bass speaker, I was half expecting a sonic boom at any moment.

I had intended to try the X – Zone, but on locating it I was told it was not yet open, this information coupled with the total lack of ‘hello’ girls on the street gave me no reason to doubt the information, so finally it was time to hit the VIP A Go-Go. I have heard and read a few good things about this club, the fact that the girls were ‘good’ and couldn’t be bought out, so I looked upon this as a sort of challenge and was dressed up to the nines in my most ‘hansum man’ duds to try my luck. Well, my first impression was ‘well yes’ the girls dancing were fairly pretty, but definitely not stunners, and as I was getting stuck into my overpriced Heineken, the punter in the next seat was getting the sermon from a girl about how she only danced, and never ever went with falang, yeah right! I switched off before she probably went on to espouse about how the Pope was actually a Protestant or how England were definitely going to win the World Cup! One point here, I spotted just as many body tattoos on show as at any other Go-Go Bar, and frankly ‘very few ‘good’ Thai ladies are tattooed, so girls, perhaps a little more honesty is called for about what you are actually doing? Frankly, easily the sexiest girls on show were up on the giant TV screen dancing in a beach environment somewhere in Asia, I wonder what the management’s policy is on public masturbation? Definitely Asian girls maybe Malaysian or Filipina? Buy the DVD if you can find it and enjoy yourself at home watching it in the company of Mrs. Palmer and her four slender daughters. I would say overall, that the club is an interesting concept, but I am not sure if there is a ‘niche’ market in Pattaya for this sort of place, but full marks to the management for trying something new, I will check again in a few months to see how it is surviving. Again, cute serving girls that seemed almost embarrassed to give you the extortionate check bin, and very, very tasteful stools.
Toilet Tip: At those prices I felt obliged to take a peek, and sure enough, plenty of my favourite black marble on display here, although the crap house doors seem remarkably flimsy for some reason. You know I think that if I ever achieve millionaire status, I will open my own club entirely bedecked in black marble and chrome and staffed entirely by many cute girls wearing various styles of Japanese schoolgirl outfits, I may not make any money but I will surely die a happy man!

Next, it was a shot walk to my next port of call, Windmill A Go-Go in Soi Diamond, a new club I believe sited on the premises of a previous Swiss restaurant, I tried ordering a ‘fondue with cheese’ but received only blank looks from the feminazi Mamasan! Another reasonably appointed ‘table’ club with a few real sweeties, and again nicely attired cute schoolgirl look waitresses. The girl who was on shift at my table was bizarrely wearing nothing but a pair of knee length, white, Leeds United football socks, which in itself wouldn’t have been too bad if she had been from at least the David O’Leary era, but this girl was definitely a Don Revie signing! Looking around the club though, plenty of young flesh on display and some lookers, although at the next change I got a horror, old, naked and flabby, uncomfortably reminiscent of my Grandmother, so it was time to check bin and get the hell out as 15 minutes of looking at that may well have caused a regurgitation of my earlier tasty Napoli anchovy and olive pizza, Despite that sobering experience that would have caused even a Viagra fuelled dick to go limp, the club was overall okay and I would go back there to see the waitresses, just not sure exactly when!
Toilet Tip: Standard unisex Walking Street style curtained cubbyhole.

Well, I had pretty much run out of new places to visit, so I allowed myself to get sucked into SuperBaby A Go-Go as I trundled past. I have used this place for many a year and the staff are always friendly to me and ensure I am comfortable and well looked after. As always the placed was packed out with mainly Asians, but the girls are consistently of a high standard, almost as good as the models on screen at the VIP A Go-Go. I have heard the girls here referred to as ‘snow queens’, not sure whether that refers to their cold as ice demeanor, or the amount of cocaine they snort, but I always get plenty of smiles from them, and although I have never actually bar fined one of them in all these years, there’s always a capacious, visually pleasurable feast of eye candy on display, and a must visit club if you have friends in town for the first time.
Toilet Tip: Not sure if my eyes were deceiving me due to the copious amount of Holland’s finest coursing through my body, but it seemed to have been remodeled and tasteful, even the toothless old crone that used to lurk there had been replaced by a younger prettier model, actually I was a bit saddened by that, as the toothless old crone was always at least the one female in the place that always recognized me and had a chat! Tip tray proffered but not compulsory and thankfully no young chap trying to massage your shoulders while you’re pointing percy at the porcelain, who needs that that shit eh?

Well, one last club before home, so I trundled back up to Coyotee’s, I won’t say much as I commented last time around, but still consistently high standard of totty on display, showgirls still aloof, but I did notice that the stool at the bottom of the fireman’s pole had been reupholstered, the previous on had taken a right battering from many a stiletto heel in rapid descent, and I noticed that the one girl who did descend during my time there, did so head first, new policy? Also they appeared to be showing the same DVD as VIP A Go-Go. Still a must visit place on your tour.

Well, from now until after New Year I will leave Walking Street to the many tourists in town, I am not too keen on the crowds so prefer somewhere a little quieter to drink for the next month or so, maybe next time around I will re-appraise Pattayaland Soi 2, better save up my cash first by all accounts. Anyway my evening wasn’t wasted as my current ‘gik’ (secret girlfriend) nineteen years old, 39 kilos, cute as a button, works as a waitress, came around at midnight. in the words of Roberta Flack, to help me make it through the night, although for some very bizarre reason she was accompanied by her pet white rabbit, which spent the night crapping in my toilet, women eh?

Thanks to materialsman who had a night in Fun City on Tuesday 29th November 

I have lived in Pattaya for some years, and have holidayed here for several years before that so I have seen many changes and fads come and go. I am a well presented forty something year old. Trivial information but I feel it’s relevant for the whole bar hopping process.

Started off my tour at What’s Up around 8:30 p.m. I was actually looking for the new Angelwitch, which I guess must be the building close to What’s Up but obviously is behind schedule for opening, and the fact that it was time for a ‘comfort’ break. I really liked What’s Up when it first opened, smart looking place, great toilets, good sized club, but I feel it went downhill somewhat after that and was taken off my place of ‘must visit’ locations, but having read your latest addition, coupled with the fact I knew the rest rooms were excellent, I trundled in. Took up a seat near the end of the stage, actually had a steady drip of water coming from the above A/C, fairly plain waitresses, ordered a Heineken at a reasonable 85 baht, music was standard ‘car alarm’ not really my taste, but then who goes to a bar to listen to music? There were a couple of good looking girls dancing, but the main focus for the remaining crew seemed to be the computer game situated near the front door, but only one girl attempted to approach me, and then only to warn me about the water, and the waitress seemed surprised when I left after only one beer.
Toilet Tip: Excellent tasteful black porcelain.

Then the main focus of my walkabout was to try the new Covent Garden complex, strolling down Walking Street I noted that there were many young greeters outside Teasers and promised myself I would take a wander in there later. Got to the complex, most of the greeters wanted to pull me into Katz, but I was determined to try Club Boesche, Borche, Bosche, BishBosh, or whatever it’s called. All the dancing girls decked out in red bikinis, a few chunkies, spotted one real cute looking, but shy young thing dancing, and logged her in my mind for the future, must have been new as she had no number. It’s a nice looking place, although not quite as big as I had imagined from the review, didn’t go upstairs for a look, ordered a Heineken from the nicely decked out waitress, the schoolgirl look being a particular weakness of mine, a couple of cute ones around, although I didn’t stay for too long as I was on tour, again no pressure for lady drinks, and no offers of ‘friendship’, but then I was surprised to check the bin to see that the beer was 110 baht, I felt that was overly dear for a place like that when compared to Super Baby A-GoGo where the girls are consistently cuter. I paid with a ‘purple passion note’ and of course they pulled the coin trick with the change, 4 hundreds, a fifty, a twenty and four five baht coins, hoping I was a tourist, I’m not a total cheap Charlie though, so I left two of the coins when of course they were expecting me to leave all four, but all in all that’s 120 baht for a Heineken! I feel I will return for another look, but maybe not in Premier place list.
Toilet Tip: Didn’t stay long enough to require them.

Thought I would take a look in Katz, seemed churlish not too as it was right next door, and the greeters had tried so hard to drag me into there, and although it is much smaller, I actually felt quite comfortable in there, although the wall sofa had a height level to make it impossible to nonchalantly rest your arm on, I liked the outfit on the girls, a sort of gold glittery diaphanous mini-mini skirt, and I noticed quite a few lookers around the place, some battle hardened veterans, but all reasonably attractive and slim. After a couple of beers I was approached by a familiar looking girl, who claimed she knew me from the Best Friend 17 years ago! Actually she was only 15 back then, so she was still in pretty good shape for 32, so I ended up buying her a drink, had another couple myself, so by the time I checked bin I had lost track of the prices, no big deal, as I said I am not cheap. I actually liked the look of the club, and the ambiance, so I would definitely return again.
Toilet Tip: Small but nicely appointed, tasteful décor.

Then a walk back up to Coyotee’s, again I tried it when it first opened and thought it to be a good looking place, the sort of first impression I had when originally walking into What’s Up for the first time, but the girls were a little unfriendly. No change from that this time, but I arrived there at a time when all the showgirls were on, so I was greeted by a wall of very attractive naked flesh dancing in all areas, this of course made it well worth a slightly longer look, so had a couple of beers there, it wasn’t quite the same after the show, and despite the fact that I was adjacent to the showgirls chosen rest place, I received no attention from them after their stint, I could of course made a little more effort myself to get to know one or two, maybe next time. I would have to say the was a definite plethora of pulchritude in the place, very easy on the eye indeed, maybe I should become a little more regular there, if it lasts, the building itself has been a veritable black hole for business over the years, I wish them luck because they certainly seem to be making an effort with a good looking club and beautiful girls.
Toilet Tip: Bit of a drag up the spiral staircase, easy on the way up, not so easy on the way down, but smart enough décor, nice looking urinals.

Back down to walking street but on passing the Blues Factory I spotted a couple of the best looking show girls from Heaven’s Above passing me by, gave me a nice smile and a Sawadee Ka! I wondered if they were on their way to Coyotee’s, maybe a change of job, thought about doubling back, but I still had more places to try. Remembering Teaser’s, I thought I should take a look, my first impression was that it looked and smelt like a Scout Hut, albeit a Scout Hut with a lot of dancing girls. Ordered my customary Heineken and took a look around, my second impression however was no better than my first, not many attractive girls, even a few Katoeys I reckon, a couple of the horrors of indeterminate sex tried to sit with me but I managed to shoo them away, however there was one really horny looking LBFM on stage, you know the type, brown skin, brown eyes, long dark hair etc. not a real stunner, but she had that ’look’ about her, smoldering sex appeal, so despite my dislike of the place, she was well worth my first 100 baht tip of the night slipped into the waistband of her little tartan skirt. Probably won’t be going back there, well not unless I’ve had a skinful and attempt to find the sexy one again!
Toilet Tip: Functional.

Next it was up to Heaven’s Above to check on the state of the showgirls, after seeing a couple on walkabout, I actually intended to go to the VIP, but I couldn’t find it! Heaven’s Above has been my favourite place lately, despite its small size, before there were always some very cute waitresses and a bunch of good looking dancers, the previous show at around 11 p.m. with the girls dressed as office girls stripping off was to die for! This night I couldn’t see any of my cute young serving wenches, and the show had changed, no office girls, damn! However, the new show featured the girls writhing around semi naked on stage feeding each other bananas, so all was not lost! Still in my top list, but slipping a little.
Toilet Tip: They have just built some new urinals so you don’t have to break your neck bending down into the old one, but very narrow, I would imagine some chaps struggling to squeeze into them, certainly couldn’t get past in anyone was using the first receptacle.

Getting late by then, still couldn’t locate the VIP, so decided to wander off home, but on the route the beer persuaded me to take a look into Champagne A Go-Go, having read your review, for a last drink. Last drink! More like the Last Chance Saloon, fat ugly girls, or skinny ugly girls, which do you prefer! Last time I ventured in there it was progressing quite nicely, but yesterday uurgh! Definitely the worst place of the night, and not even the beer goggles could make the waitress trying to tempt me into taking her home attractive enough to consider. Only 85 baht a beer, but with the available women they wouldn’t really dare to charge more.
Toilet Tip: Fairly nasty toilets too in keeping with the talent!

So just another normal night out in the greatest town in the world, bought another large Chang from 7-11 (after midnight, bad boy!) consumed it at home and woke up fully clothed face down on the bed at 5:30 a.m.

I love this place!