From 2002 but only needs updating to include easy Paypal internet transfers to the girls

Bargirl's Employee Handbook & Arrangements for Salary to be Paid Direct

By jj [from 2002]

The following rules are mere suggestions for actions that might enhance your pleasure as you move through the maze of bars in Thailand. They are general in nature, are intended for the 'new guys' in town and are not meant to encourage prostitution.

1. Go early!
   [The prettiest gals are still there. Often, they don't last long]
   COROLLARY a) If you don't find what you like at the first stop, there will still be pretty gals at the other places. [see Rule 6c below]
2. Survey the contenders.
   [Don't necessarily grab the first gal who presents herself. Watch the parade for a little while. Bide your time. YOUR special lady might still be getting (un)dressed in the back room.]
   COROLLARY a) Don't hold out forever for that 'special someone'; you CAN waste a lot of valuable time by doing so.
3. Don't sit near the door.
   [Don't make yourself too visible. The gals tend to be less inhibited if you are 'in the corner, in the dark'. Some of the larger bars have some very nice corners or out-of-the-way spots where the action and reaction might be a bit freer because she knows that she is not being watched either by the other patrons or the owner. Some bars have private rooms; ask about them (see #9 below; be wary of possible "extra charges" though!].
4. Try to sit under or behind a speaker.
   [One of the biggest problems is COMMUNICATION. If you can cut the noise level even a little, you can improve the quality of the conversation. This fits with Rule #3 above]
5. Buy that first Lady Drink.
   [Unless you have a prior 'relationship', you are two strangers meeting in a strange place. She has no idea what to expect. She also has a quota of drinks that she must solicit. However, many of the gals do not drink alcohol (surprise). After the first drink, ask if she'd rather have a tip delivered directly, rather than more Lady Drinks which she might not really want in the first place (see #7 below). Often, she'll take the offer of the tip and provide her own refreshments. By providing that first drink, you have established that you are willing spend at least a bit of money in return for her time.
   COROLLARY a) It is NOT necessary to buy the waitress a drink. Sometimes this is useful in establishing a foundation for future service and attention, but it is NOT a requirement and one should never feel bad about refusing her request.
6. If you are NOT going to bar fine (off; buy out) her, TELL her up front.
   [If she is desperate to fill her quota of OFFs, she might find an excuse to leave. At least you have established your intentions and given her the option of finding another benefactor for the night.]
   COROLLARY a) Don't feel rejected if she is the one who opts to leave; she has her own needs as well.
   COROLLARY b) If, after a short time and that first drink (#5 above), you are not satisfied for ANY reason, make a change.
   COROLLARY c) It is often better to start over at a different bar than to choose a different girl from the same bar. But if that 'special someone' just walked by, you ARE free to make a change.
7. Tip early and generously.
   [One must remember the life style of these gals; it revolves around money. After some period of mutual body surface exploration, provide a tip of moderate proportions; 1-200 baht is usually sufficient. This will often loosen any inhibitions (and sometimes clothing).
   COROLLARY a) Sometimes while on stage dancing, the gals will be a bit 'inhibited' but a tip given in public at stage side not only announces your intentions but often lowers the level of inhibition. Even the 'shyest' dancer might loosen or remove something for a small tip.
   COROLLARY b) Like the Lady Drink (#5 above), tipping establishes your intention for future possible 'rewards' based on reaction and performance. It very often has an immediate effect on body language.
8. NEVER give out too much personal information.
   [Real addresses, telephone numbers and birthdates are VERBOTEN!
   The Thais believe that if you have someone's birthdate, you can cast Black Magic spells to affect their life. The gals from the Eastern Border regions of Thailand are renown for casting spells on the "best" customers in an effort to entice them to "invite" the girl into their life....]
9. Ask about the possibility of "special shows".
   [Some bars will offer the possibility of spending some time with one or more of the dancers or waitresses in a more 'private' setting. It is NOT necessary to have all out sex with them (see Rule #6 above); the action can be limited to up-close performances and shows. Often the gals are somewhat relieved in not having to actually have sex with the customer (Yes, it DOES get old for them after some time.) and are willing to show-off in exotic ways. This may also present the opportunity to 'review the assets' of a number of gals before making a 'final' decision. This is especially true in those bars where bikinis or uniforms prevent a clear view of all the assets.]
10. Protect yourself at all times.
    COROLLARY a) If you decide to 'do it’; wear a condom (or 2);
    COROLLARY b) When walking between bars, especially if you are alone, be aware of your surroundings.
    COROLLARY c) Never carry more money than you can afford to spend or lose.
    [It is best to prepare for the night's outing by purging your wallet of all but the most essential items. Carry only the money that you are willing to spend. On the outside chance that you might forget yourself or that she might walk away with your wallet, remove all credit cards and ATM cards. Better safe than sorry.]
11. Treat her with respect.
    [Yes, she is a prostitute but she is also a woman; worthy of your respect. Treat her right. Pay her a fee commenserate with the services rendered; toss in taxi fare home. If you think that you might want to see her again, tell her so. Most Thai gals DO NOT like to have their pictures taken, dressed or otherwise. If you are so inclined, ASK first and take a "No" as a No.]
12. Be wary of the sob story: mother sick; buffalo sick; house needs new roof; child in hospital. [Given #11 above, SOME gals are in it ONLY for the money and will use ANY ploy at any time to extract more from your wallet (see #9). Especially effective is the "I want to stop 'dancing' and open a business" story. Don't fall for it; unless you have know the gal for at least six months and visited her home town with her. Then, it MIGHT be serious.]

By jj

I've commented before on my divided loyalties between enriching the bar owner versus the lady providing the entertainment. I've been out with friends who down 3-4 drinks to my one - enriching the bar owner - but who never buy a lady drink. I can only assume (hope) that a direct transfer of funds takes place. Although in watching other customers in multiple venues, it seems that direct tips to the ladies are often overlooked. It would seem that they are trying to have the best of all choices, getting buzzed themselves without tipping the ladies.

As far as I'm concerned, ordering a lady drink early in the conversation is simply laying the foundation for a three hour relationship. It establishes the customer's willingness to pay to play. It keeps the lady's interest before any pleasantries are established. It also keeps the mamasan happy. In the unfortunate event that your lady must depart for the stage, the sweating glass on the table also wards off roaming sharks.

Newbies, especially, need to be indoctrinated that the ladies have drink quotas. Three to five per shift is a reasonable expectation. A mamasan isn't going to be happy if you monopolize the lady for a few hours without buying her drinks, even if you eventually do BF her. The profit on your drink is the owner's alone. Any tips to the lady are hers alone. The price of the LD is shared between the lady and the owner, therefore, a happy medium.