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29th May

  Reputation Management...

Pattaya Bar Reviews: Pook Swan House
Link Here

pook bar p32 Pook Bar on Soi Buakho or to give it's full name Pook Swan House P32 Bistro & Bar, bit of a mouthfull.

I called in during an afternoon. There was a few customers on the outside terrace but I went inside for the aircon. I was the only one inside and the screens scattered around were showing Thai TV programs. I ordered a beer, Singha B65, and a guy came over and changed the screen in front of me to sports channel.

He introduced himself to me, Graham from Huddersfield in the UK, recently appointed as Manager to bring custom back and rid the reputation of the ladyboys.

It is Thai owned and a lot of money has been spent. All the furniture is new as are the fittings.

The hotel price is B850 a night B&B for walk in customers but if you book it via Agoda it is cheaper. Under Agoda it is listed as the P32 Pattaya Hotel.

I didn't eat eat there but the food I saw being served looked good.

 

28th May

  Hands on...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Pandora's
Link Here

pandors Pandors, or whatever the name may be, on Soi LK Metro has become a gogo.

The main colours of the interior are still beige and black.

On the left-hand side is a narrow stage with four chrome poles and two chrome gym rings.

On the right-hand side is cramped double-tier seating.

The dress code consisted of a tiny black bra, a white string and a white pleated skirt that was not even half the length of what I have recently seen at the new Beach Club.

Thanks to the Velcro fasteners the skirts came off easily and of each team of six or seven dancers two were performing in their birthday suits.

Most girls were average at best and from chubby to fat, but they were a friendly bunch.

Several of them had, after a career on Soi 7, tried their luck at Bliss on Walking Street but had been laid off.

Many of them, but not all, were not shy at all and very hands on for a small tip.

A couple of 20-baht notes goes a long way at Pandors.

Bottled Heineken 120 baht, down from 130 baht at the previous incarnation.

 

26th May

  Coyote Happy...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Happy
Link Here
Happy sign Happy is a long running GoGo a few paces off Walking Street.

I popped into Happy last night, it was terrible. The Stage was full of Coyote dancers wearing large black pants and even larger black tops. To make things worse, the Girls were only leaving the stage one at a time.

I said to a member of staff, Is this an a-gogo? but he did not understand. Another 10 Coyote Dancers were waiting to come on the stage. It took over an hour for the all Coyote dancers to leave the stage. Eventually some topless girls came on, but 40 mins later the Coyote Dancers were back, so I left.

At the end of my first beer I thought about moving to Baccara but I was in Baccara on Saturday and there were about 12 Coyote Dancers their but it was not as bad because the Girls were moving across the Stage very quickly.

What I don't understand is, who thinks Coyote Dancers are what the public wants?

It isn't.

 

25th May

 Updated: Birthday suits...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Las Vegas III
Link Here

las vegas iii Called in Las Vegas III on Soi 13/1 one afternoon.

Around 12 girls working and not a stitch on between them. Mostly good looking. It was an elderly guys birthday so maybe all the nudity was for his benefit, I don't know. I'll have to go back and see.

2 girls jumped on me, I kept one and shooed the other away. She kept me very entertained for an hour or so apart from the Me go dance . She said she usually worked at Las Vegas II.

Still B85 happy hour beers and B130 for LD. Still giving out tickets with each drink. Has anyone ever been known to get a winning ticket?

Update: Vegas winner

25th May 2016. Thanks to Graham

Re. Malcolm's review. I DID win a free drink with the lottery tickets...about 2 months ago.. I live behind Avenue shopping mall and go to LV 3 or 2 quite a bit!

 

23rd May

  Meeting More Girls...

Pattaya Bar Reviews: Rendezvous
Link Here

rendezvous soi khao noi 2016 On Soi Khao Noi Rendezvous has opened at the previous location of Halfway Inn and Mermaid Bar Beer.

You have to ring the door bell now, but they open the sliding doors even before you can find the button.

At first sight the interior has remained unchanged, but there were more girls and punters than I have ever seen at the previous incarnations.That being said there was not a single girl who did catch my fancy.

Bottled Heineken 85 baht, during happy hour (until 6 p.m.) all beers 55 baht.

They also sell English cider at 130 baht per half litre. To be honest I would even prefer Belgian cider, which is a completely different product sold in champagne-style bottles.

 

21st May

  Retoxicated...

A bar update for Soi Lengkee and Soi Buakhao
Link Here

retox sign Soi Lengkee

The Freeze bar is all boarded up. That one didn't last long but it didn't show much promise when I found it last year. Trafalgar is now the Bar Le Poste which has already been mentioned.

New bars:

  • Retox . towards 3rd Rd end. Opened last year by the Guy who used to have the Irish Rovers before it was renamed iRovers on LK Metro. Retox is on the same style as iRovers. Enclosed with glass door, air con and many big screen TV's showing whatever sport your into. Seems to be doing well.
  • U Turn . Very small beer bar. 3 small tables outside and 3 more inside. The actual bar inside is much bigger than it needs to be, taking up customer space. Has glass door which was wedged open and the air con switched off. Singha B70. About 6 average looking girls working there

Soi Buakhao

What was the Pook ladyboy bar on Soi Buakho has reopened as Pook Bistro & Bar. It's now a straight Bistro/Bar. No ladyboys in sight. Everything looks new.

Small Soi off Soi Buakho by the Rich Bar and leads through to Soi Xzyte,

Update from Dick Farang

Oud Bar has existed for a long while and was originally right of Baby Boom before Baby Boom moved to its current location opposite Garden Beer Bar. Both places were ladyboy bars and owned by the same Dutchman and his Thai wife: Josh and Poo. The ladyboys used to walk between the two places.

Note that oud is the Dutch word for old ; it could be part of a surname.

Oud Bar still exists, but it is no longer a ladyboy bar.

At the previous location of Baby Boom a new bar is taking shape: Fairy Club.

 

19th May

  In the Buttery Quarter...

Pattaya Restaurant Reviews: La Cuisine au Beurre
Link Here

la cuisine au beurre frontage On the soi right of the TukCom building (Soi Day Night 2) I discovered a good and not too expensive restaurant: La Cuisine au Beurre.

The name means something like the butter-based (as opposite to olive-oil-based) cooking and was the title of a 1963 French comic film with Fernandel and Bourvil.

When coming from Pattayatai it is the first restaurant on the right-hand side of this soi and it is located on the corner of a narrow arcade that leads to Soi Day Night.

The restaurant is nicely laid out with comfortable tables and chairs and nice table cloths and napkins.

The toilets are in the arcade at the end of the building, past the open kitchen.

They have an elaborate set menu at 350 baht with a choice between four or five starters, four or five main dishes, seven or eight desserts and coffee or tea.

The bread consists of some slices of bâtard with a portion of salted Allowrie butter.

With the main dish you can choose one of about eight different side dishes.

One of the desserts is a piece of cheese to be chosen from a tray.

(Keep in mind that cheese is rather expensive in Thailand.)

Among the Ă  la carte options I saw tournedos Rossini at 620 baht, not too expensive if it is the real thing.

La Cuisine au Beurre seems to be popular with Belgians, Germans and Swiss.

 

13th May

  Not even close to Happy...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Beach Club
Link Here

beach club soi happy After the madness of the Japanese Golden Week had ended, I visited the new Beach Club on Soi Happy.

I find it strange they are directly competing with next-door sister gogo Happy, whereas Happy most of the time does not even use their second stage.

The least you can say is the layout of the new Beach Club is surprising, not to say the worst I have ever seen.

Along the Soi Happy side and along the Walking Street side are U-shaped booths with in the middle rather high round (NOT reflecting !) stages with a chrome pole on each of them.

Along the Happy gogo side are the bar counter, the toilets and the DJ and along the neighbour's side are some narrow stages, each of them with several chrome poles on them.

Wherever you are seated, you will only have a very partial view.

The red plush bench seating in the U-shaped booths is very comfortable, but if and when it ever gets a bit busy you will feel locked up.

About half of the dancers were clad in schoolgirl uniforms consisting of large white blouses and long black or red pleated skirts with matching neckties. In most other gogos the outfits of the waitresses are skimpier.

That being said Beach Club still has male waiters and way too many of them.

black sports bikini The other half of the dancers were wearing bikinis, varying from string bikinis over pants bikinis to huge black sports bikinis

More than 80 % of the dancers were on one of the stages at any time and they moved from pole to pole after each song.

Most of the dancers, especially the bikini dancers, were well over thirty years old. One old silicone fatty went topless.

The lighting was (probably intentionally) too bad to get a good impression of the quality of the females. That being said at least a number of them were certainly sub-average.

The music was the usual crap and way too loud.

The air conditioning was on the fresh side, with even the waiters complaining.

There were not many customers and the Asians left even faster than the farangs.

BEWARE: automatic tipping: small change is not returned spontaneously.

Bottled Heineken 150 baht, draught beer 69 baht.

 

7th May

  Passion Police...

Passion Gentlemen's Club comes under police scrutiny
Link Here

Recently Passion Gentlemen's Club in Jomtien has been raided and closed repeatedly by army and police, the last time on Saturday 16th April 2016:

On internet fora there has been a lot of speculation about what was actually going on.

passion 98 Their website has remained unchanged, but on their Facebook account the "obscene" pictures have been removed such as this picture of the good old days.

In the meantime Passion appears to have reopened once more.

When I arrived around 3.30 p.m. there were six other cars on the car park.

There was still a guard at the entrance and when you leave you have to ring a bell from inside.

Inside the punters were by far outnumbered by the girls. Most of the females were average or less and in the 35-45 age bracket. All of them were more than overdressed. No bikinis, no lingerie, no special dress code, no action in the swimming pool.

The dim light was perfect for hiding bodily imperfections.

The music was non-obtrusive, the kind you only "hear" when it stops.

The ST barfine is still 400 baht, room included. The going rate for ST is still 1,000 baht, although some will try to get more.

small liqueur glass The ST room (or better: one of the ST rooms) is on the ground floor in the corner behind the swimming pool.

This room was clean and clear with a bed, two bedside tables, a sofa and a large mirror which was way too high to watch the action.

The en-suite bathroom was as large as the bedroom, with a washbasin, a toilet, a shower and even a bath and quality plumbing.

Bottled Heineken 89 baht, lady drinks (small liqueur glasses of fake tequila) 125 baht.

Meanwhile on the shutter of Viper Bar , Passion's sister club on Pratamnak Soi 4, is an A4 sheet now with one word only: CLOSED . This also seems linked to the aftermath of a police raid.

 

3rd May

  Lounging again...

Pattaya bar Reviews: Venus Lounge
Link Here

venus love lounge Venus Lounge on Third Road has indeed reopened.

The interior is still the same with an unused stage with chrome poles.

Outside, on the terrace, some ladyboys were sitting.

The only available female inside was Naang from Korat, 40 years old, three children, shy , short and full. She was adamant that she would never do anal.

Two other females (cashiers ?) were hiding behind the bar counter. The owner and his mate were smoking and drinking at one of the high tables.

Naang's overweight son was roaming the place, not really a playground for children. I wonder what is going on in the head of such children when they see their mama going upstairs with a customer.

No other customers.

I was told that the price of a short-time room was 400 baht and FS 1,000 baht.

Bottled Heineken 90 baht, lady drinks 100 baht.

 

2nd May

  Restricted viewing...

Pattaya GoGo Review: Beach Club
Link Here

beach club soi happy I popped into the new Beach Club on Saturday night.

It is a very long thin room with alcove seating and table top dancers. The furnishings were very nice but the overall layout was not too good as you are very limited in what you can see. Waiters were always in your eyeline as they competed for customers.

The girls wearing white blouses and black mini skirts were wearing knickers which was very disappointing. There were a few topless dancers but they did not reach the part of room I was sitting in,

The music was too loud and the aircon too cold. Beer was ok.

I give it 5 out of 10

 

1st May

  Clothed Bare Back...

Pattaya Bar Reviews: Bliss Lounge
Link Here

bliss lounge card The Bliss Lounge on 3rd Road is a Blowjob bar. It has been around since before 2013.

It has average looking girls and decent rooms.

They do have drink to buy but I don't remember the price.

The BJ cost is 800 baht but there is no option for short time.

The girls do not take of their clothes.

 

23rd April

  Infinitely worse...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Infinity
Link Here

infinity front Infinity A-GoGo on Walking Street has indeed reopened, but it had better remained closed.

The only positive thing I noticed is that the seating has become less uncomfortable.

Just in front of the left-hand bench seating are now ten identical white plastic cubes, serving as stages, with a chrome pole on each of them.

In front of the right-hand bench seating is now enough space left for walking, which was problematic in this narrow gogo.

The dancers were average at best. Half of them were clad in white and half of them in black. Over 90 % were overdressed coyotes , many of them in camisoles. Even the scarce bikinis were huge. No nudity.

The last two stages remained unused.

The lighting was inadequate and there were very disturbing light beams.

The music was too loud.

One girl who apparently started five days before could only say What is your name ? and One drink for me.

There were not many farang customers, but there were some Asian cigarette-smoking bell ringers.

Bottled Heineken 135 baht, down from 140 baht.

 

8th April

  All-time low...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: P Ying
Link Here
pying Calling PooYing Bar ( ผู้ หญิง  = poo ying = woman, girl; in the sign the long oo sound is replaced by a heart) on Soi Yamato (Soi 13/1) a gogo is a joke and even one in very poor taste.

Everything inside looks even worse than at Nui's/Runway on Walking Street, which BTW has not been upgraded since its reopening nearly two years ago. The defunct Smile Rock Girls on Soi 15 was a palace compared to PooYing Bar.

In the middle of PooYing Bar is a small, low makeshift stage with two chrome poles and along the walls are some worn sofas that seem to come from a recycling centre.

Nobody was on stage, but two extremely ugly fatties were taking care of the other two customers. One of them was in a string bikini and stilettos; the other one was bottomless and barefoot.

From time to time ladyboys walked in from the street and started begging for lady drinks. The short, old and fat mamasan/cashier seemed to condone this.

The greeter outside looked way better than the females inside.

No waiting staff.

The music was a tape that also contained a disco version of Mozart's Kleine Nachtmusik .

The bill mentioned "Las Vegas Agogo", but I did not receive a lottery ticket.

A new all-time low, even for Soi Yamato.

Bottled Heineken 60 baht during "happy hour" at 11 p.m.

 

7th April

  Camisoled...

Pattaya Bar Reviews: Left or Right
Link Here

black maillot The layout of Left or Right Fantasy and Disco Club in the Rompho beer bar complex in Jomtien has changed once more.

On the right-hand side is bench seating now, which is too high for your feet to touch the floor.

In front of this bench seating is now a narrow stage in white plastic with lighting inside and six chrome poles on top.

The space between this stage and the bar counter is filled with a pool table and some high tables with bar stools.

There were about ten overdressed dancers clad in black, several of them sitting outside and, from time to time, two of them on stage.

Some of them were skinny and some of them were fat.

Most of them were wearing black camisoles on top, some black tights and some black maillots. Not the slightest nudity.

That being said, the average quality of the girls at Left or Right was still slightly better than the average quality of the girls at the Rompho beer bar complex, which is extremely low.

Most of the scarce customers were young Thai boys this time.

The barwoman looked very Russian.

Bottled Heineken still 100 baht, lady drinks 130 baht now.

 

2nd April

  Sex Bomb...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Kiss
Link Here

Kiss logo Kiss A-GoGo on Soi LK Metro is one of the last remaining table-dance places in Pattaya.

In front of the bench seating on the right-hand side are now five tables and on the other side one table, each with two chrome poles on them.

There were about twenty dancers, clad in red string bikinis and stilettos, half of them topless, one of them on each table and advancing one table per song. Most of them were over thirty years old and average, some slightly better looking and some extremely ugly.

That being said, some years ago I barfined a 20-year-old spinner from there for a long time. After the first round however, she came from the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper with red lipstick on it and tried to make me believe she had suddenly got men (menstruation). It was clear she wanted to go out with her friends instead of staying with an old man all night. As she agreed to half pay for turning a long time into a short time, no harm was done.

All dancers at Kiss appear to be staff who get three days off per month, 50 baht per lady drink and 100 baht per barfine.

The music was good old rock, Tom Jones' Sex Bomb included, and not too loud and the dancers seemed to enjoy it.

The lighting was a bit poor and made it difficult to watch the upper parts of the bodies.

The cigarette smoke issue of Brian's days as a manager seems to finally have been solved.

Barfine ST and LT 1,000 baht, the girls complaining they do not get barfined at that tariff. The girls seem to expect 1,000 baht ST. For a short-time room 300 baht extra is charged, which means 2,300 baht all in.

Bottled Heineken 115 baht, lady drinks 130 baht.

 

1st April

  Pepped up hassle...

Pattaya GoGo Reviews: Peppermint
Link Here

peppermint A very strange thing happened to me in Peppermint on Monday,

A waiter came over and told the Girl I was with to finish her drink. It was new and over half full. I waived him away and said Fuck off, not loudly.

30 seconds later a more senior waiter came over and told her drink up, which she did. I was looking the other way at the time. I told him your wasting your time I'm not buying any more drinks, but he just Ignored me and went away.

Then I had a string of waiters coming over asking me to buy the girl a drink, which I refused, so she sat there for 10 mins, while I finished my drink and left,

I have never experienced anything like that before in a Happy group Ago-go, and I'm very well known in their ago-go's,

 

28th March

  Girls with natural monopolies...

Pattaya Bar Reviews: Kinnaree Place
Link Here
Kinnaree Place Kinnaree just off the middle of Pratamnak Soi 4 is a very convenient resting stop on some of my walking routes around Pratamnak Hill. However I generally give it a wide berth due to simply not liking crowds. I am also not keen on the the bar adding an expensive meal charge to the bill and then me having to explain that I didn't eat anything and would like it removed. However the crowds are testimony to it being a very good bar and to the fact that the meal price system doesn't actually cause problems.

As explained above I generally drop by in the evening on non-buffet days. Although many of the girls are on their way from tea time, there are still a a fair few that wait until the customers depart.

The girls are very good at circulating around the bar seeking out customers that may be interested in their services. However saying that, the girls are freelancers and don't get much out of a chat and a ladydrink, so are quickly circulating again if need be.

The girls are friendly and the drinks are reasonably priced, so encouraging the good atmosphere that prevails.

Actually the crowds also point to a few economic lessons for Pattaya. The bar provides a very popular respite from the 2000 Baht short times + 1000 baht barfines that prevail in the nighttime economy. Locals in the know can get similar (but not quite) the top quality of Walking Street for 1000 + 350 at Kinnaree.

Another economic lesson is that some services tend to become natural monopolies. The guys go to Kinnaree because there are many girls, and the girls go because there are crowds of guys. Several bars around the area have tried to grab a bit of the action, but have always failed to make any impression on Kinnaree's monopoly.

So I rather reckon that Kinnaree will be popular for some time to come. If you want plenty of girls to choose from, in a luxurious environment with very reasonable prices then Kinnaree is a pretty safe bet, but don't forget that there are many many in Pattaya who agree.

 

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